I watched the other games from the stands so this was the first one I saw on TV, and as a committed secularist I noticed to my horror that Mike Singletary was wearing a cross draped on his muscular bosom.  As much as God made little daisy petals, that goddamn cross hexed the 49ers.

Isn’t an NFL head coach wearing a cross on TV on federally licensed channels a violation of the First Amendment or something? A violation of NFL rules about fair play – if one coach brazenly invokes God’s favor is that fair to other coaches who go buck-naked secular?

The 49ers were supposed to be a speedboat but Sunday there were a rowboat with a leak. Only Singletary’s flashing the cross can explain this disaster; God righteously evened the playing field.

At least the last losing coach, Mike Nolan, only wore ill-fitting suits at home. Singletary pushing the cross in the face of non-Christian fans might be appropriate for the coach of Southern Methodist University, but not a San Francisco team that is named after the 49ers of the fabulously irreligious Barbary Coast.

– a 49er fan.